Three groups from the same family would set off with cars packed to the limits for the 1000 mile journey to Boucanet at the edge of the Camargue on France's Mediterranean coast. It was an epic journey, fraught with disadvantages such as the cost of petrol, the seemingly never ending motorway tolls and of course the long hours at the wheel. But all these and more were far outweighed by the advantage of being in charge of your own holiday and in full control of what you make of it.

Now, for those of you that have a distinctly ancient idea of camping let me explain that the only similarity to "Boy Scout" camping is that your temporary home is under canvas (well the modern equivalent anyway). The camper requires no special equipment, although I have included a list of the more everyday items that I have found to be necessary.

The company that we have used consistently is Canvas Holidays, there are many others but Canvas is a firm favourite with our group as they are without a doubt one of the most cost effective (even before the loyalty discount) yet remain efficient and quality conscious.

Let me list briefly what you get for your money:

Full size family tent with cooker, "normal" beds, fridge, table/chairs, electric lights etc
Return ferry crossing with choice of route
Free children and teenager places
Low deposit
Gas and electricity
Travel pack
Children's Hoopi Club
Wildlife guides
Sun lounger and hammock
Barbecue

Now, you will be wondering why this report is titled "A Holiday Nightmare" when I have such a favourable opinion of Canvas Holidays, I shall explain.

Canvas Holidays for some reason stopped using our favourite site at Boucanet at the end of 1996, which left us looking for an alternative. After much scanning of their brochure we were unable to find a site in such a good location with the tents right alongside the beach. The weeks went by with still no decision made as to where or what we were to do about our 1996 holiday, in fact by the middle of the year it was getting too late to do anything. As a last minute idea we booked with a local travel agent for two weeks in Malta.

The pictures in their brochure looked nice, the hotel description was nothing short of ideal, in fact the thought of 14 days half board even in November/December in such a warm place was something we looked forward to over the next few months.

During this time we would think of all the advantages of a hotel holiday. No petrol to buy, no need to cook and wash up each day, no driving (even though I enjoyed driving in France), the novelty of flying by plane for the children (3 year old Zoe & 5 year old Karl). Then we paid £48 to park the car at the airport, oh well we thought we would have paid that in motorway tolls had we driven to the south of France.

The day arrived and we drove to the airport and found our reserved parking place. Carrying 2 large suitcases together with hand luggage and coats to the shuttle bus stop I remember thinking "last year these stayed in the car boot until we had arrived at our destination". At the terminal my arms had recovered enough to get the suitcases on a luggage trolley then join a very long queue to check them in, we then walked to the far end of the terminal building to our assigned gate. The wait was only a little over an hour but even so enough time for the children to get bored and start playing up. On the plane (A320 Airbus) the seats were arranged in two columns of three which meant I would have to sit on my own leaving my wife Angie to care for both children on her own. I had flown several times before and considered the flight pleasant enough but Angie, as a first impression of flying thought it was extremely cramped. Karl & Zoe enjoyed it and spent most of their time playing with the toy which the airline had thoughtfully affixed to the back of every seat and could also be used as a table.

Anybody that has experienced airport baggage carousels will be able to picture the next 40 minutes of mayhem. First fight for a baggage trolley then when that is being guarded by your partner, stand with hundreds of other travellers around a large empty conveyor belt for what seems like an eternity. All eyes focused on the curtain where this large snake-like machine emerges waiting for it to regurgitate anything that looks like luggage. Then it starts, first one case then another, people lean forward for a better view as suitcases and bags appear rapidly now, one lucky man sees his case and manages to grab it without too much hassle. The crowd surged forward for closer inspection, this only caused problems, as now people standing at a safe distance had to do the same in order to get a glimpse. What happened next was a sight to behold; an older person made a lunge for his case obviously forgetting that you can't just grab 20 kilos as if it were nothing. The bag dragged him along for a few feet but like a child refusing to let go of a lollipop he held on to that handle for all he was worth, he must have felled at least five other passengers like toppled dominoes in his attempt to retrieve that case. No, there was no way I was going to get caught out like that, we would just have to wait a while and let the rush die down.

Suitcases finally retrieved we headed towards the waiting coaches outside the airport, luggage into a van and passengers into a bus for the ride to the hotel, again Karl and Zoe were beginning to think they had changed into sardines. The courier welcomed everybody on the bus to their Golden Years Holiday, Golden Years Holiday? it was at this point that I noticed all the other passengers were considerably older than we were, perhaps we were on the wrong bus? Check-in at the hotel was fairly quick and with our room key we headed to the lifts and the sixth floor. In the room the first thing we did was to check the sea view we had asked for back at the travel agents, open curtains, walk onto balcony, no sea view! just the sight of other rooms across the courtyard.We were fuming, the manager assured us we had been given the correct room and that the travel agents had not booked one. At this point it was decided to get some fresh air and take a walk outside the hotel to take in the view we would be missing. A time share salesman confronted us and was politely told we were not interested, he tried again, " No thank you" I said, it was his third intrusion that caused him to be on the receiving end of my temper to which he replied "You've got an attitude problem mate", "You've got a hearing problem mate" was my reply.

We attended the meeting arranged for new arrivals and the children were pleased to find out that there would be plenty of entertainment for them such as ballroom dancing, bingo, darts contests, bridge lessons and the like. There was crazy golf available, cost 50c each and 5 MLira deposit. Now this hotel had nine floors (0-8) and our room number was 675 therefore the 75th room on the sixth floor, floor 1 was the main reception area at street level and floor 0 was for dining room, swimming pool, library, lounge bar and function room. There were four lifts servicing these floors each capable of carrying six adults although a day didn't go by without at least one of them malfunctioning. The remaining lifts spent the majority of time travelling from floor 1 to 0 (entrance to function room, there were many wedding receptions) and floor 0 to 1 (dining room to bingo hall, there's nothing like a game of bingo after dinner). Those of us wanting to travel from the higher floors were left with no alternative but to wait 20 minutes or face the stairs (children not allowed to use the handrail, reserved for pensioners). The breakfast queue busters could be seen to dart in front you the second a vacant lift had opened it's doors and on the rare occasions that we caught a lift it would stop at every floor after Mr & Mrs Prat had decided it would be amusing to press every button prior to alighting.

Having now returned we look forward to 1998 and a return to a holiday that is more suited for children instead of one recommended by a travel agent that obviously hasn't got a clue about their destinations.